It was a bright day in April when winston smiths chuin nuzzled into his breast because of the vile wind.Meanwhile striking 13.after that he slipped throughout the victory mansions door made out of glass.although not quickly enough preventing a swirl of the gritty dust following him!!!!
November 16, 2012 at 2:11 pm
Hi, Adam,
I think you probably only need one exclamation mark on your title!
The first sentence definitely has the subordinate clause removed (well done there) but unfortunately it is now what is called a ‘compound sentence’, where three clauses are put together using conjunctions like because and when.
Try breaking it down even further. Your first sentence would be: “It was a bright cold day in April ”
Mr Waugh